Reaching cookie equilibrium

I started Baraka on 1 jan2024, it’s 7 feb today. I go to the same grocery shop everyday, it’s tiny and comfortable. There are these cookies, I pass by. Medium brown ones with one square cube in the middle. Everytime i enter, I take a stroll around, checking prices and ingredients. I never imagined I would eat those one day. And that one day was 1 jan. At 10 break, the community kitchen would be waiting for us, me and 3 other women who work with horses. one Indian, french and german.

We make green tea and a box would lay on the table. cookies. I was like, I can eat this for free, and tea to soak them and this moist dough slide down my throat to fill my stomach, at 10 in the morning. I devoured it, not just at break. At every chance I get, returning from my morning jog or late at night. I used to stuff them in my pockets and sneak into my room. I never asked important questions like who is buying this, how they get restocked, right the next day. On the other hand they, so lady like, pick one or two, like they had breakfast or something. 

Then, like all things, equilibrium must be reached. demand and supply will do its thing. The cookie monster can’t go unnoticed. One day, I heard them talking, “we can’t expect this to continue,” one said. “cookies are going through here, more than in summer, when there are a lot of kids”. I Was right there across the table, smirking, I was like, is this happening right in front of me? “From now on whoever completes them should fill the box” said the first. “Right when I have nothing to talk about, they gave me something to feel ” I thought. With a tint of pride, I provided no eye contact and didn’t utter a word. I just want to hear everything they have to say. I know I am gonna fix this by bringing some biscuits. maybe not the same ones, coz that would bankrupt me. I Know i can intrigue them with pecular choices. I heard the conversation with a smile inside me, it was hard to express what i felt. It’s like I know this day would come and hear it is. and I missed an important detail here.

In the past I was quite blatant with my gratitude for cookies. I Even thanked them one and twice. To me it’s quite obvious that they might think it’s i, the cookie monstar. To my understanding they are the people who would ask you to fill the box, for instance, if they believe its me. then again I don’t know them enough. do they consider cookies or food a sensitive issue and kind enough not to make me embarrassed, or they actually don’t know. I guess we will never find out.

I was concentrating on my tea and cookies while this was going on. I could eat only one, there is a important reason for it. There is this couple, tourists who has some relation with a auroville, i am guessing. indian man and german women, they have two kids. the leave on 13feb, meanwhile they are in the farm, almost everyday, for horse tour to their children. They brought some cookies for break and i tell you what. Imagine having money, going to a supermarket, having liberty to choose, consumerism offers you plenty options, still you buying shit like this. it was like flavored sand. no offense. I can not fathom it. 

either way all this exposed was my discipline, my diet and the timing of it, is comfortable to me right. mostly because institutions situated in that angle. Will I do the same in abundance?. i don’t know, i shall try.

for example, auroville. these people know how it was few years back, all this changes are tangible to them. they basically suffer there memory. when i am 35 and miserable, i don’t want to remember the times with i am 20 and happy. that’s the reason i write these.

Paper tree plantations are so dense, they simulate night when you are in them. coconut tree plantations on either side look ancient, like they passed on from generations. they are enough distance apart to cover the sky. like a high ceiling. a combination of no sun and mini tractor plough frequently, turns ground into black soft soil sand. That’s cool.

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