Emotionally bankrupt (the big sick)

where Protagonis goes to drop off her date, setup by his parents as a arranged marraige. “The Big Sick” was the film. Just infront of her door. She expresses her confidence and exitment in if they ever end up togeather. He Stops that line of thought and states that he is not interested in this arrangment. “Its Just that, i want to get this over with you know. so i can just relax” she said. expresses her disapprointment and leaves.

That dialogue that exact dialogue, mentally bankrupt me. Its been three weeks, my brain runned on that dialogue so much that i dont know what to think now. I belive, my brain went throught all permitation and combination of nuero connenctions. its has no more connections to make.

That dialogue, very subtle exposed pathatic state of humanity existance.

Whole three months back, me three other co-actor with director are present in the living room. entering into someone else house is always a sureal exprience. i did not quite followed the conversation went on the whatsapp group the last night. Director asked everyone to prepare there charectors background stories, now i am in the living room with nothing prepared infront of her.

In usualy fashion, i stated i am not prepared. and started creating the story then and there. at some point in my charector background i stated: “my charector married becouse you know, you have to do it in future and why not get it over with”. for that director gave a very plesent aknowledged smile like she agreed to it.

I started grey’s anatomy a 2and half weeks ago, now on s4ep3. i can write a whole artical on it. that show is about many thing i love and hate but, a good chunk of it is people fucking around and messing up there peace. another good chunk is about how people get to a certain age and start settling for people in the name of “decrease your expectaions” “relationship takes scarifice” “you wont get many chances” just so they can get to call someone wife or husband and not die alone.

Fleabag has 2 season with 6 and 10 eps. what did they stop at 2 seasons, such a good show. i love the hot priest, i am willing to turn gay for him. cute fellow (exhale).