I know a fellow, he is conventionally social. He talks about things, listens to people complain and brag. He gets from them what he intended to, people feel good about themselves when they talk to him. For hours, one after another. Weekdays and ends.
After going along with him for a few days, i can’t help but notice. Most conversations end with people complaining about their financial struggles, social obstacles and suppressed desires. Blame their fathers, abuse themselves and whoever they find responsible. Listening to this for hours, he somehow keeps himself cheerful, a min after conversation ends in addition to tossing a gum into his mouth.
Me on the other hand, leave the conversation feel empathetic about there issues and dropping solution for there problems. One day he stopped turned towards me, placed a right hand on me and said “remember, no one looking for help”.
He is mostly right, people share their trouble coz it’s socially relatable thing todo, it can bring people together. Ntg Better things to talk about, people need someone to acknowledge there sentiments. People who need favors or material indulgence, will get them.
Attention is a word people toss around.
When a youtuber sad about getting there name wrong on play button. Or a celebrity making a statement about breaking up with there hamster.
Or a decent vulnerable dialogue in your close friend circle.
It’s a general narrative that people who share there sorrow, dispair or grief. Are consciously or subconsciously looking for attention to feel social acknowledgement.
Personally, i don’t mind when they need attention. Problem is when people are actually looking for help or someone to share there sentiments.
Some people believe, that finding someone to who care about them reduce there load to process. I wish it be that easy.
You need to go home suffer your grief, irrespective.